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Bramblestar's Storm Spoof
Bramblestar's Storm Spoof by foxstep A funny retelling of Bramblestar's Storm, a our favorite terrible filler book. *** Firestar: *prances around the kittypet heaven and sings* tralalalala how beautiful the world is Bluestar: *walks up to Firestar with a squirrel in her mouth* Firestar: Bluestar! We don't murder innocent creatures here! Have you lost your mind? Bluestar: *drops squirrel* Firestar: BLUEEESTTTAAARRRR YOU STAINED THE HOLY GROUNDS, THE GHOST OF SCOURGE WILL FOR SURE HAUNT YOU NOW! Bluestar: Oh, cut the act. We need you at headquarters immediately. There's someone who wants to see you. Firestar: Pfft, lol no. Why did you even put me on the Main Characters Council? It's all boring meetings and making up omens to threaten the living cats with in order to get them to do things the way we want them to, I'm for sure resigning- Bluestar: *narrows eyes* It's Cloudstar Firestar: wAT? Oh boy oh boy oh boy- Bluestar: Wait! Since you resigned, I can send another cat to receive the omen if you'd like- Firestar: No way, I'm back in! Oh boy oh boy Cloudstar and I have so much catching up to do!!! *runs out of the kittypet heaven) Bluestar: Just like when he was an apprentice! *shakes head* --- Firestar: HEY BUDDYYYYYY Cloudstar: Hey Firestar. I gotta show you somethin' quick *slices paw* Firestar: O_O Blood: *hits water and rises back up* Firestar: o_O Firestar: o_o Firestar: ooooohhhh I got it If blood meets water, blood will rise Cloudstar: *smacks firestar* dude, you can't decide the omen, that's MY job Firestar: then what is it?? *rubs cheek* owwww Cloudstar: Nothing. Just shows this exact same vision to the one who holds ThunderClan's future in his paws Firestar: So...I have to cut myself? Cloudstar: *sigh* Chapter 1 Bramblestar: OYA CLAN AMBERPAW GO ON BORDER PATROL. LILYPAW GO LISTEN TO PURDY'S BORING STORIES, SANDSTORM- Sandstorm: Ya orderin' me? Bramblestar: O_O no Sandstorm: Good Bramblestar: Okayaaa. *Goes and sits in front of camp entrance making life harder by the millisecond.* Berrynose: "YO Bramble...wanna go on bp with me?" Bramblestar: Berryo, ya scared me outta ma furrr. Berrynose: That's impossible dumbbrainnnn Bramblestar: D: *** Amberpaw: Border! Can I pee can I pee, pretty pretty please???? Spiderleg: Fine.... Amberpaw: :D *Falls into water* Nightcloud: WHO is this TWERP in MY DRINK???? Amberpaw: O_O Rosepetal: YAAAAA Nightcloud: YAAAAA Berynosae: ROSY GETTA BACK HERE!!! Rosepetal: FINEH Berrynose: *Licks* Poppyfrost: *Pops out of nowhere. "Berryo, need I remind you where your loyalties LIE???" Berrynose: I jus helping herrr Poppyfrost: You'd better be TIN-MANNNN *Dissapears* Berrynose: O_O Bramblestar: Let's go *** Squirrelflight: Heyyo Gummy Bearrrr Bramblestar: Hey there Tootsie Pop Squirrelflight: O_O Bramblestar: Nyeh Squirrelflight: *Nods* *** Thornclaw: Bramblestar! There's a Gummy Bear Storm coming this way!!! Bramblestar: Sweet :D Thornclaw: No! The dangerous type. Bramblestar: Le gasp Bramblestar: Everyone, let's flee! *Cats run in terror* *** Bramblestar: Lionblaze, ya gotz the blanket Lionblaze: Yepz Bramblestar: Ks Poppyz ya gotz da tub? Poppyfrost: I might literally die of burden joy. *Kittypet wails* Bramblestar *Ears prick up* Ummm...you guys go...I'll check that out...*runs off* Everyone: Check out what? *** Bramblestar: *Runs to find Jessy* Ooooh pretty kittypet Jessy: Wat. Shush & go away I'm trying to save mah boyfriend Bramblestar: But-but, I'M your boyfriennnnnd Jessy: Wat? Bramblestar: ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING??? Jessy: Lol, who are you? Everyone knows Benny is my boyfriend - wait, no, uh, I mean Frankie...Benny's his brother, it's easy to get them confused! Bramblestar: Pfft you don't need to pretend *wiggles nonexistent eyebrows* Can I be your third? Jessy: *slaps him with her paw* How dare you?! Frankie: pLEASE HELP i'M dROWnINg *swallows water* Bramblestar: *picks lock* Jessy: .... Bramblestar: What? I'm brilliant at this! When I said Firestar was the best mentor a cat could have, I meant it. I'm a Twolegplace expert *puffs chest* Jessy: *shoves him aside, jams her claws in slot and slides open the door* Frankie: *is half-dead* Jessy: *drags him out* Frankie, nooooooo!!!!! Bramblestar: *clears throat* Allow me Jessy: *slaps him again* Bramblestar: *glares at her, then does chest compressions* Frankie: *spits out water and opens eyes* Huh, w-what happened? Jessy: FRANKIE *licks all over his face* Bramblestar: Careful, don't want Benny finding out, do you? Frankie: Benny? You found Benny? Where- Jessy: We haven't found him yet *glares at Bramblestar* Come on, Frankie, I know where we can get shelter Frankie: *steps over to Bramblestar* Wait, tell me about Benny! Jessy: Frankie, nO *starts to drag him away* Category:Foxstep's Fanfictions